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Episode 25: The One With the Rocky Montage
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(13:30) Get a Hold of HoldemX
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On this episode of the PokerUpdate.com Weekly Burn & Turn..Shira! You’re such an ass!
I can’t take it anymore. Alright, on this episode what we are going to talk about is: ‘Would you leave your poker for a new job?’; We’re going to talk about poker coaching – what that entails, how much that costs, and then maybe we’ll even talk about Robbie needing a coach; then we’re going to talk about 5 ways that the Poker Colossus will not flop; and we’re going to end it off by talking about HoldemX. It’s going to be a lot of fun, and it’s not that hard!
Hello everybody and welcome back to another fun, exciting, entertaining episode of the PokerUpdate.com Weekly Burn & Turn for the week of February 7th, 2016. I’m Robbie Strazynski.
And I’m Shimi The Fish.
And we have some great stuff to entertain you with this week.
That’s a lot to live up to: fun, exciting and entertaining!
And I don’t even have a pen this week.
Here you go.
I’ve got a pen, baby! We are going to entertain the pen out of you. And Shimi’s got a pen too.
Stop giving away your pens to other people.
So, what we’re always talking about is people who leave their jobs to go and become poker players.
One day by us!
Someday, perhaps. That’s what a lot of people who made careers in the poker world have done – they would have left their jobs doing whatever it is they do, and they go and become poker pros.
Chasing the dream.
Chasing the dream, but there are some people who have gone and left poker to chase something else, and it makes me wonder.
Why in the world would you do that?
How good would this kind of job have to be?
It’s gotta be the money. There’s no other reason. You go to poker because you’re looking to score the big bucks.
Easily! Poker is tough – you’ve got to study and stuff – but you’re still playing a game.
Well, even so, we’ve talked about how gruelling it can be.
Of course! It’s a long grind.
Obviously if you’ve got a job that can pay you more..
..for less work..
..and less risk because you’re not going to be risking anything, then that’s definitely worthwhile.
Well, what kind of job would that be, Shim?
What kind of job would I leave poker for? Alright, are you ready for this? You’re not going to believe me. A golf ball scuba diver – that’s where I would go. The golf ball retriever. Have you heard of this one?
It doesn’t exist.
Okay, google it.
A real job, Shimi!
Professional golf ball retrievers actually get paid in the 7 figures.
Of what? Zimbabwe Dollars?
No! American Dollars! Do you know what they do? They go and dive into these ponds – where everyone hits their golf balls – with scuba gear, and they retrieve all the balls.
Like in the lake?
Yeah, and they resell all the balls. They can actually do it at a really good profit. The only risks that are involved in this thing are that you’ve got to watch out for alligators, snakes, and different things that will kill you. Other than that, it’s a great job! Scuba diving is a lot of fun. I don’t know if you’ve ever been scuba diving.
I have not. I’ve been snorkeling.
Nice! Well, you’re used to swimming with fish.
Ahhh! There you go. @ShimiTheFish on Twitter.
Absolutely. It seems like a fun job.
Would you leave poker for it?
I think it’s the type of thing I’d love to do for a year, and then it would probably grow old.
I would do it for a day.
Well look, if I’m getting paid seven figures all I need is a year and that’s good enough.
Or even a day. If you divide that by 365 that’s pretty good for a one day’s pay.
Not bad at all.
I would go and do something a little more tame. I would go and become a waiter.
A waiter? How are you going to make money as a waiter? Waiters get paid nothing!
It’s very simple. I met a guy once and I said: “What do you do?” and he said: “I’m a waiter.” He’s kind of a wealthy guy so I was like: “What do you mean a waiter?” He said: “Yeah, I wait for my dividend check every month.”
I mean if I could wait for my dividend check every month then I would have no reason to play poker professionally.
Do you know the famous story of how you score big? The story of how you make your riches?
Shimi, this is a PG show.
So here’s the way it works. It’s told about a guy who comes to America with only one pennedy. One penny!
One pennedy! John F Pennedy.
He goes and he buys an apple, and then he sells that apple.
For a penny?
No he sells it for two pennies. When asked how he made his riches he said that he bought that apple and sold it for two pennies. Then what did he do with those two pennies?
He bought two apples?
He bought two apples, and he sold each of those for two pennies. Then how much did he have?
Four pennies, and then his great uncle passed away and left him his entire estate. And that’s how you make your riches. That’s how you do it.
That’s another way. Well, another job I would leave poker for is ice cream taster.
That’s awesome! That does not exist!
It does. I think Ben & Jerry’s has such a thing. There’s got to be such a thing.
No way! That would be amazing.
Imagine you get paid to taste ice cream all day.
Wow. Talk about gaining weight and things like that. You’ve got to watch your weight with a job like that.
Some things are worth it.
This is the reason I never open a pizza parlor, because that would make no profit.
Or, Vice President, right?
That doesn’t do anything.
That’s exactly the point. I mean, you get paid a good 6 figure salary and you just sort of have to wait around all day and do nothing.
Well, unless someone dies. We’re not going to talk about that.
Yeah, but I mean those are some really good jobs. The fact is there are some jobs worth leaving poker for.
I’ve got a job that’s definitely worth leaving poker for. A poker coach! Did you see what I did there? Check that out.
That’s a segue into our next poker topic. Cue new graphics.
The truth is, you could stay in the realm of poker and still be working a proper job.
They charge a lot of money!
They make a fortune! Have you read the article?
I read the article.
It’s crazy! What was it? $800 an hour?
Vanessa Selbst, right?
Yeah! That’s a lot of money.
I mean, you have to be a Vanessa-Selbst-level pro to be able to charge that kind of money.
Understand that for her to be doing that, the value has to be high as well.
Because that’s time she’s not playing poker.
It’s not just that, but also for you as a player, if you’re paying her $800 it’s an investment.
And I think she has a minimum of 8 hours or something.
That’s a lot of money.
It is but you’re investing in yourself because it’s going to actually make you a better poker player. Obviously this won’t work on everyone. There’s going to be people like me where it’s just not going to happen. Sorry Vanessa, I’ll just be wasting your time, okay?
I mean some people are just destined to remain fish no matter how many hours you coach them for.
That’s true. What can you do? You embrace it!
That’s what we do, yes.
But $800 an hour – that’s a great job! I would do that, although, I wouldn’t do it very well!
And I certainly would not pay $800 for it. I’d pay the penny.
Well you totally could use a coach!
No, I can play very well!
No Robbie! Let me tell you something.
I don’t need no coach!
You’re a decent player, but you’ve never had a professional poker player calling you a shark! That’s right, by the way, check it out on Twitter. Shout out to Ari Engel, #ShimiTheShark.
Ari Engel, really?
You’ve got to show that on screen. Someone show that. So one day, Robbie, maybe we can get you up to par. Maybe you can be a pro-acclaimed shark.
Maybe. I’d be willing to try it.
Let’s do it! Okay, so, today we’re going to be doing something a little bit special. We’re going to do a little poker training for Robbie. We’re going to get him ready for his next poker debut as a professional poker player. Are you ready?
Bring on the coach, buddy!
Let’s do it man.
*Shimi Coaching Robbie*
And we’re back! We are pumped up.
That was tough, man!
Just stretch it out, Robbie, because guess what? We’re going to talk about your next event because now that you’re prepared, let’s get you into the Colossus Event!
Oh! They did that event last year and they’re going to do it again now.
Check out these segues!
That’s right – Oh Snap! This is the way you do it, you let Shimi The Fish take care of the segues. Let’s talk about it. They’re doing the Colossus tournament again.
This is at the World Series of Poker (WSOP) and last year it was a $565 buy-in event which is the lowest ever buy-in event.
How many people were there? 22,000 people?
There were 22,874.
But they had some problems from what I understand.
I mean, that’s a lot of people.
Right. I mean clearly it was a big hit but there were some complaints. Legitimate complaints that they want to change this year.
When you run an event that big you want to make sure that it doesn’t flop, so how do we make sure that an event like that doesn’t flop, Shim?
Well, there were some really good suggestions in the article, first of all raising the payout for 1st place – which I like.
Yeah, like have it set to a million dollars.
Absolutely, that way you feel like you’re getting a little bit more. I mean, having it payout to so many players is also nice but I’d like to see some more fun things.
You’ve got 22,000 people!
There are plenty of ways to make sure that this event doesn’t flop.
Absolutely. Like get some guys who are shooting t-shirts into the crowd.
Yeah, t-shirt gun!
22,000 people, and people want to have t-shirts! I want to see the players at the tables go: “T-shirt over here” and then get the guy with the t-shirt gun.
Right! Another thing is that you need more bathrooms!
Oh my God.
The lines at those bathrooms are insane.
That’s a lot of Number 1 & Number 2.
Hah, nice! This is one of the few times where it pays to be a girl in poker.
Yes, because the lines are just shorter.
This is the only time in history that the lines is shorter for the women’s bathroom as opposed the men’s bathroom.
Or you can pull an Antonio Esfandiari.
Oh, we don’t want to see many of that, although this year there’s definitely going to be a lot of copycat performances.
What, peeing at the table?
They’re going to be disqualifying people left and right. Make sure you’ve got enough bathrooms because 22,000 people is a lot of people.
Yeah, the event could certainly flop if people do that sort of thing.
Where do you put this many people though?
Maybe in a stadium. Instead of the Rio you put it in like UNLV Stadium, whatever it’s called, Thomas and Mack Stadium. I don’t know what the stadium in Las Vegas is called. Everyone all in one day at the same time. Now they have 4 starting days though.
That’s a lot of people though.
Yeah, where would you put them?
I want to see them spread out throughout the entire casino on the same day. I want to see tables in the kitchen, I want to see tables by the pool – everywhere. Then what I want to see is – are you ready for this? I want to see table changes, where when someone has to switch tables, you give them a map and be like: “Okay buddy, you have three minutes and you’re on the other side.” I want to see people sprinting to the other side to get to the table.
Kind of like what I just did with all the sprinting during poker coaching.
That’s what we train for.
You’ve got to be prepared, and if people are not prepared it’s going to take them time to find where their table is. It will be a little more entertaining to watch.
I don’t know. I think that on the slightly scaled back side, besides all of the breaks between levels, we need shower breaks.
Oh my God!
I mean, 22,000 people is a lot of people.
Alright, let’s talk about the statistics.
You looked this up, right?
I did look this up, and I’m not making up this number – 0.3% of people in America shower less than once a week.
So, if you do the math, 0.3% of 22,874 is?
66 people are going to be reeking up. I want to see a defumigation place where you can take a player and say: “I’m sorry sir, you’re going to have to step into that curtain right there before you can return to the table.”
Right, although statistically it’s more often the men.
Well, shower breaks will ensure that the WSOP Colossus 2 will not flop. Maybe we’ll be there this year, you never know!
That would be amazing. Let’s get a sponsor! Bring us out there. Let’s run this again. If we get one million likes we’ll fly out to the Colossus.
It’s $565 we don’t need a million likes for that.
If we get 900,000 likes, we will fly out to the Colossus event – both of us!
Maybe we’ll get a live Burn & Turn from the Colossus.
That would be a lot of fun to see.
Let’s make it happen.
Absolutely. I love how they’re changing things up. It’s bringing in more people. Get ready for the segue.
I love the segue. He’s really good. I think we might have prepared for this.
I am on tonight!
Tonight? It’s today.
We did prepare though. Yes, Shimi, what kind of game could bring people into poker?
Alright, if we’re already changing up the game, let’s talk about HoldemX.
Everybody, stop what you’re doing – except don’t stop this because it’s a great show – and go see where HoldemX is coming out of because this is awesome!
For people who don’t know, HoldemX is a brand new game brought to you by the GPI – Global Poker Index – Alex Dreyfus and his team of maverick, awesome people.
This is awesome, I already love this guy. Alex, I love you man.
We always loved this guy, and I met him at the PCA. Weren’t you there?
You’re such a jerk.
So yeah, great guy, great team, really bringing innovation into poker. That’s what we want to see. They brought this whole new game called HoldemX. We’ve got a great article on our site on what it’s all about.
You have to actually play it!
Have you played it?
I have been playing it like crazy, and let me tell you something, my record – I kid you not – I am 15-1. That’s right, 15 wins and 1 loss.
Really? At HoldemX?
You can be a sponsored HoldemX pro.
Alright, we’ve got to talk because I’m a serious gamer. I love games like this – Magic The Gathering, Solforge, and things like that.
Because unlike in poker, you can with at them.
Absolutely, because you know what? There’s more of a skill factor. No? Oh no. We’re not going to go there?
No, poker is a skill game which is why…yeah, alright we’ve been there.
But the HoldemX Cards – I love it. There’s still some flaws, but it’s just a test version, which is good because they have a lot of kinks they need to work out. Basically you’ve got these joker cards that can affect the game during the game.
Kind of like ‘Uno’?
Well, no. A little bit different. Let me give you an example. One of the cards, that you can play at any point during the game, allows you to match the high card you’re holding. So if you’re holding A3, and you play this card, all of a sudden it will turn the 3 into an ace and you’re holding AA.
It does sound like Magic The Gathering.
Not only are you holding AA, but it could end up being suited AA because you don’t know what that second ace is going to be.
No joke. How many times do you get an option to have that. I have an ace-high flush, “Oh yeah, what’s your kicker?”
Another ace! Like you said, you’re a gamer, and I really think that’s the beauty of this game, and what GPI is trying to do is bring more people into the game of poker. I mean, if you’re someone like me and you’re sort of a poker purist, that’s what we do, that’s what we’re about on this show – mostly poker. But you have a game like this which is clearly targeted at mainstream, people who are into eGaming and video gamers, those kind of people. I think it’s an interesting game, and people who might not necessarily have been interested in poker ever before have now got this really cool game. Maybe one day they’ll try poker out. What other games are like that besides HoldemX?
That’s a good question. What would you do? How would you bring in someone older?
Me? I mean, I would do shuffleboard.
Yes, because you have the shuffling already.
Have you actually ever played shuffleboard?
I mean, no.
You’ve never played shuffleboard?
You said older, I mean I’m 34.
Alright, what we could do for shuffleboard is that you’ve got to push the cards into the flop.
Oh! I don’t get it.
Yeah, I don’t get it either. This is the reason we don’t do shuffleboard poker. Alright, Alex, when you’re going into your idea tank shuffleboard poker is not something you want to pursue.
Do you remember that show ‘Double Dare’ on Nickelodeon?
That would be awesome!
Alright, Double Dare Poker, or something like that.
No, no, no, just for the opportunity to dump a huge bucket of goo over Phil Hellmuth’s head. That’s all you need to do it for. Right there, double dare! You get someone who gets shpoinked on the river – I’m throwing out that word again – and the goo drops down on your head. It would be amazing.
One place where we could see goo dropped on someone’s head for not guessing correctly is Name That Pro! Are you ready Shimi?
Name That Pro, sponsored by…..editor of PokerUpdate.com Shira Stieglitz.
We bring you back to Name That Pro with Robbie in the hot seat! Give me the questions!
No, no, no, no, no. Name That Pro, brought to you by Shira Stieglitz, editor of PokerUpdate.com. Are you ready Shimi?
Are you going to name that pro?
Alright, I’m going to throw out a guess.
Pre-flop. Let’s see what you’ve got to say.
I’m going to go with my buddy Ari Engel, because I’ve got to give it a try. No?
I tried. Alright, let’s go. Give me a hint.
That is what we have the flop for. Your first clue: This pro has had noticeable elective cosmetic surgery done within the last 5 years.
Cosmetic surgery? Wait, read it again. Was it gender specific?
This pro has had noticeable elective cosmetic surgery done within the last 5 years. Let’s have a clock.
Sorry! Was that okay to guess that?
You tell us, Maria. I don’t know. Clue #2. For this clue we have a special surprise. Shimi, we would like Mr Ari Engel to please come and bring clue #2.
Take a look.
Hey Shimi, this is your former classmate Ari Engel coming to you from Melbourne, Australia. Here is the clue. This pro won their first title in the same year that the US Congress tried to impeach Bill Clinton. I’m wearing sunglasses so I don’t give away any tells. All the best.
Thank you very much to the Aussie Millions Main Event 2016 winner Ari Engel ($1.6 million) for reading clue #2.
Where are the tells man? You’re supposed to hold up a sign in the background.
Yeah, sorry buddy. Thank you very much Ari. Maybe another pro will come and join us next time.
I’ve got to figure this out. So, when did Bill Clinton get impeached? Obama had 8 years, then we’ve got Bush before that for 8 years, and then we’ve got Clinton who was before that for 8 years also. I’m 33, so I must have been like 12 years old.
What’s the answer? Your guess, Shimi.
1995-ish. I don’t know, Phil Ivey?
No! Your final clue. Mr Fish…Weiss! This is the river sir. This is your last chance.
Someone, help out! Leave a comment, yesterday!
Mr Weiss, this pro once had a cameo in a poker film and was eliminated by a player who’s character was based on his own persona.
Oh my gosh! It’s, uhm, Johnny Chan, right? Wait, wait, shoot! What’s his name?
Your final answer, Shimi!
Yeah, no, we’re going to go with it.
And when you hear the answer, Mr Weiss, you will be blown away. The answer is Daniel Negreanu!
What? When was Daniel Negreanu ever in film?
Hello! He’s like everywhere! He had noticeable cosmetic surgery with the hair plugs.
What movie was he in?
I don’t remember. Shira wrote the clues.
Negreanu, I didn’t know you were a Hollywood star. Cameo in a film, and knocked out by a character who was his own persona? That’s not Daniel Negreanu!
Maybe Daniel Negreanu will come along once and give us another clue.
Negreanu, get in here! That wasn’t you.
Thank you very much everyone for joining us. Thank you Shira. Thank you Shimi for looking really like someone who cannot name that pro. If you have some comments for us, look for us on Twitter @PokerUpdate and look for us on Facebook. Share the video, comment, and all the calls to action. Just be sure to let us know what you think and of course if you have some comments for Shira or some ideas, email@example.com. Always happy to hear from you guys.
Negreanu I’m waiting for you to weigh in on this one!
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