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Welcome to our weekly PokerUpdate.com Weekly Burn & Turn, where we discuss the latest poker updates published during the week.

Episode 30: Good Grief

 

Thank you so much for watching.

If you would like to read the articles discussed in our vidcast, please see the links below!

(1:09) Hey WSOP, We Have 10 Sponsors You Need to Consider!

(4:25) Poker Loss: The 5 Stages of Grief

Have an idea of something we should discuss? Drop us a line at press@pokerupdate.com. We would love to hear from you!

Transcription Below

Welcome everyone, to Episode 30 of the PokerUpdate.com Weekly Burn & Turn. We are really excited to be with you again this week – at least I am.

We’re always excited, what are you talking about? This is going to be a great episode.

You just walk around excited, Shim?

All the time.

That’s why we got him on the show.

I am on a natural high always.

“Natural,” we’ll see.

There you go.

We’ve got a couple great topics to talk about this week. The WSOP is coming up very soon, in a few months, and we’re already getting very excited for it. We’re really pumped. 888 Poker is the official sponsor of the WSOP, and they’ve already got a couple of cool things in store. They’ve got this 888 event which is an $888 to enter and it’s $888,888 for 1st place. It’s 8 handed, and I think they only use 8 cards. It’s a lot of eights.

Eights are wild.

Crazy Eights is the actual game. Eight-game rotation. It’s a lot of eights, we get it. We were thinking though, that there could be other interesting sponsors. Here come the graphics.

I love their number 1 sponsor that they suggested – Old Spice.

Oh yeah, Jennifer. She wrote a great article.

They actually put up the commercial for it.

Yes, it’s embedded in that article.

It’s wonderful. “Look at your opponent’s hand, now look at mine, now back to his, now back to mine.” No?

Yeah.

You don’t know what I’m talking about right?

I use a different deodorant.

Oh, dude! Look at Robbie, now back to me, now back to Robbie, now back to me. Sadly, he doesn’t smell like me, but if he used Old Spice.. No?

Axe. I use Axe.

Axe? Oh jeez, I hate Axe.

Axe hates you.

The commercial doesn’t stand up next to Old Spice. It’s all Old Spice.

Well I guess there’s a reason Jennifer Newell chose that one. She actually chose 10 different, interesting sponsors.

She missed a lot though.

Yeah, we had some really good sponsors, like Warren Buffet would be a great sponsor.

No.

He’s got a lot of money. He could sponsor the WSOP.

All right, if we’re going to be naming sponsors, let’s get some good ones. Sesame Street!

What?

That’s what we need – Sesame Street. Just picture it. You can get the count: 1 Out, 2 Outs, 3 Outs. No?

Today’s letter is F for Fish.

Okay, that was well done.

Really? Sesame Street?

All right, fine.

The WSOP brought to you by Berkshire Hathaway. No?

No, no, if you’re not going to do Sesame Street let’s do Disney. Disney sponsors the WSOP! I want you to try to picture this, okay?

Okay.

We can get the WSOP to suddenly be a musical. There will be singing there! It will be great.

Who? Who will be singing there?

Who cares! It’s Disney! *Shimi Singing* “I can show you the turn, deal a club, spade or diamond.”

Seriously?

“Tell me Robbie, now when did you ever last hit your draw?” The answer is never. He never hits his draws.

I apologize. It’s not my fault.

Picture the Tournament Director of the WSOP, sponsored by Disney, he stands up a and sings: “Let’s get down to business, shuffle and deal those cards. Did they send me fishes when I asked for sharks?” Come on! It would be great. You don’t even know what it’s from.

Let it go Shimi.

Oh! You asked for this one, okay? Let it go? *Shimi Singing* “Let it go, let it go, can’t play these cards anymore. Let it go, let it go, throw them away and deal some more. I don’t know, why I’m in this hand. Let the game go on.” No?

Okay, I might have written the script, but clearly someone rehearsed for this show a lot more than I did. Well done. I’ll give you the golf clap, Shimi.

Leave some comments in the comments section. I’m trying to push them. We need to do a musical Burn & Turn episode. It would be amazing. The Burn & Turn Musical coming to a theatre or stage near you. No?

Yeah, I could see it happening. *Robbie Singing* “I could see it happening.”

What?

“And you don’t have a clue.”

Who? Well done! Well done Robbie.

All right! That was unrehearsed. A lot of emotions going on today on the Weekly Burn & Turn. One of the places where you could find a lot of emotion, of course, at the WSOP. A whole range of emotions, which goes into another article that we put there: “Poker Loss: The 5 Stages of Grief.” All of those stages are all on display. In all of the years that I’ve been playing I’ve experienced all of those emotions first hand.

Dude, dude, dude, you’ve experienced all of those emotions in a single hand.

No, that didn’t happen. What are you talking about?

Roll the tape, let’s go.

Hello and welcome to Psychiatric Evaluations with Shimi The Fish. Today we are going to observe Robbie as he goes through all 5 stages of poker grief. Let’s take a look.

I bet.

Observe, as we start the process with Robbie, we’re going to do something a little bit unorthodox. We’re going to push all in right now to see how Robbie reacts. All in.

Call! AA for me.

All right, show it down. 10-3 for me. Observe Robbie’s features as we go into the first stage of poker grief: denial.

What? 10-3? You pushed all in with 10-3? Seriously, what’s wrong with you?

Right now we’re going to deal out the flop and we’re going to go very quickly from denial into rage. Flop comes T-3-J.

Unbelievable! You have got to be kidding me. How do you flop two pair? I had aces!

As the anger begins to subside, Robbie realizes that his only chance here is to try to cut a deal. So he’ll swiftly move into the bargaining phase.

All right, let’s run it a few times. Run it three times. You’ve got to run it twice, I have aces, come on. I might hit a jack. Run it three times.

One time! Turn is a 3. As Robbie’s hopes start to dwindle he moves quickly into the depression phase. You can see the hope leaking out of his eyes as tears start to form.

This always happens. Unbelievable! I play my best, and I do everything I can, just deal the river and get it over with.

River is a 3. With no hope left, Robbie moves into the final stage of poker grief: acceptance. Of course it’s a 3 for quads, I had aces to start and then you raised all in with 10-3 and of course I insta-call. Two pair and then, oh f**k it. Rebuy!

—-

Okay, how did you get that tape?

Oh, good stuff.

Seriously, who did you contact for that? I had that stored away in a volt.

It’s all public knowledge.

I’m going to get you back. It’s time for Name That Pro!

You can’t get me back, you’re in the hot seat. Bring it on, Name That Pro!

Who is sponsored by this time?

It’s sponsored by Robbie’s losing streak. 3 times in a row.

You went there.

I did, and guess what? If you lose again, it will be 4 times in a row. That will officially be the longest losing streak anyone has ever been on in the Burn & Turn.

All about setting records here on the PokerUpdate Weekly Burn & Turn.

Let’s go straight to it. Come on, throw out a guess.

Of what?

Someone. I’ll give you a hint, it’s a girl.

You’re lying.

I am.

Allen Kessler.

F**k!!

Oh S**t really? Really? I got it! That’s right. We don’t even need clues. What do we do now, Shim? That’s amazing.

I’m going home.

You would have had Allen Kessler giving us the clues. You want to roll that tape? We just don’t need clues!

It’s not Allen Kessler.

Really? No, it’s got to be Allen Kessler. What’s up Allen? I have a picture of me and Allen Kessler, we’re going to put that in there.

Where do we go from here?

I don’t need no countdown clocks. I don’t need no anything. Let’s roll that tape. What’s one of the clues? Let’s read the clues and learn more about Allen Kessler. I know all about him of course.

Robbie!

I won!

Prior to becoming a poker pro this person worked for a well-established relative worth over 6 figures.

Allen Kessler! Where’s the cheering? Give me the cheering baby!

Do we have someone to read the second clue?

Bring it on. Is it Allen Kessler?

Matt Savage: Hey this is Matt Savage from World Poker Tour Rolling Thunder and your clue today is: Since moving to Las Vegas to pursue a poker career, this person has now never purchased toilet paper. No idea who that is myself, so good luck to you!

Two things I love even more than Allen Kessler: Toilet paper and Matt Savage. Thank you very much. You know who Matt Savage is right?

Yes, yes. I’ve got to say, it’s very funny that Matt didn’t know who that was and you knew who it was even before anyone started talking.

Allen Kessler! Let’s get some more cheering. Give me another clue for the hell of it Shim, because you all “prepared.”

This poker pro has 3 WSOP circuit rings and the 2013 Heartland Poker Tour Player of the Year award.

I think it’s Allen Kessler! We got it! Winning streak.

Was there some tell?

Throbbing veins. Thank you Shimi, thank you Matt, thank YOU, and thank you Allen Kessler! Love you Allen Kessler.

How many poker players are there in the world and Robbie got it on his first shot, in the dark! Right out the gate.

That’s like a hole-in-one. That’s like an Ace.

That’s a Happy Gilmour hole-in-one.

Right into the hole! Allen Kessler! Thank you very much. I’m sure he’s going to love this one. That’s great. Okay, I hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I did. This is the best episode ever. I don’t even need clues. It cannot be repeated. It cannot be duplicated.

One day by me?

I don’t know. Thank you very much for tuning in. Don’t forget to subscribe to the YouTube channel.

Leave comments! We want a musical Burn & Turn. It’s going to happen.

Maybe starring Allen Kessler perhaps. Like, share, comment and subscribe. We’ll see you again next week, here on the PokerUpdate.com Weekly Burn & Turn. I’m Robbie Strazynski.

And I’m Shimi The Fish.

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