Things are not always as they appear. In a world of #AlternateFacts, we should always examine what is presented to us at face value. Perhaps black is actually pink while up is maybe diagonal. After all, if #AlternateFacts are good enough for the President of the United States, we should embrace them as well.
In that spirit, we have been scouring the recent poker headlines and now present you some recent #AlternateFacts of poker.
Russ Hamilton and UltimateBet Win Operator of the Year Award
In a move that failed to surprise anyone in the online poker world, UltimateBet won Operator of the Year for 2016. The poker world welcomed UltimateBet and Russ Hamilton back into the poker world with open arms after PokerStars absorbed Full Tilt Poker last year.
Russ Hamilton was a guest on the Joey Ingram podcast and spoke at length about the award. “Players love our software. It is among the most secure in the industry. Our special “God Mode” gives our administrators the ability to root out any cheating and helps us spot software malfunctions.”
2016 WSOP Main Event Has Record Low Attendance
The poker community was shocked earlier this month to learn that WSOP officials were in the business of issuing #AlternateFacts. According to reports issued by most major news agencies, there were 6,737 players at the 2016 WSOP Main Event.
It now appears that the number was much smaller and in fact is the smallest figure since pre-Moneymaker. Just 624 players showed up for the Main Event this year, leading many to wonder what happened and where did all these pictures of massive fields come from?
“Camera angles,” said one poker media member that spoke on the condition of anonymity. “Also, they put the event right in front of the cash games so that it would appear to be a larger field than it was.”
Another media member told us, “If you look closely at some of these pictures, you’ll notice that the field was A LOT OLDER. We decided to use photos from the Seniors Event because nobody really pays attention to the people in the photos.”
We reached out to the November Nine for comment but only Cliff Josephy responded to our request for an interview. He simply told us, “It doesn’t matter what the field size was. My horses did well and third place wasn’t too bad either.” According to reports, Josephy had a piece of half of those finishing in the money and everyone at the final table.
Sheldon Adelson Promotes New Online Poker Legislation
It appears that long-time online gambling opponent Sheldon Adelson has had a change of heart. The Poker Players Alliance reported on Thursday that Adelson has been throwing his weight around behind the scenes at Congress and is trying to get online gambling regulated rather than banned.
According to one Congressional staffer who refused to be named, “Adelson did really have a change of heart but rather he figured out a way he can insanely profit from it. He’s about to make a major purchase soon.”
That purchase is rumored to be Amaya. According to several anonymous sources, Adelson is looking to buy Amaya and move its headquarters to Las Vegas. If this happens, expect PokerStars to be given priority once online poker is regulated.
Daniel Negreanu and Chris Ferguson Sing Kumbaya
Chris Ferguson received insane heat over the summer after his return to the World Series of Poker and refusing to speak about what happened at Full Tilt Poker. Daniel Negreanu famously called him out on the matter and Ferguson became the top villain of the series.
That’s all now changed following a recent meeting between Ferguson and Negreanu. Negreanu took to Twitter recently and wrote, “No matter what we think about Chris, at least he’s not Donald Trump.” Ferguson hopped on Twitter and simply Tweeted, “Thanks Daniel. Btw, I voted for Hillary.”
Immediately #ForgiveChris started trending and this led to a meeting at Violette’s Vegan Organic Eatery and Juice Bar in Las Vegas. The pair talked for over an hour and at the end they were spotted arm in arm singing Kumbaya. It was reportedly a touching scene that had many in tears.
“After talking to Chris, it became clear that he is simply misunderstood. I can’t go into what we said exactly but I think he deserves another chance,” stated Negreanu. Ferguson reportedly has aspirations of returning to poker full-time and Negreanu said he would “welcome” him if he chose to return.
Following the meeting, Mike “The Mouth” Matusow took to Twitter stating, “F*** Hillary and Chris Ferguson too.” The long-time Trump supporter clearly has built up a wall between himself and poker’s newest odd couple.
Lucky You Voted Best Poker Movie of All Time
In a recent poll by the Walla Walla Research Company of Lynchburg Tennessee, Lucky You was voted as the “Greatest Poker Movie of All Time” by a poll of over 5000 poker pros and fans.
The classic coming of age love story captured the hearts of many and is said to be the most accurate portrayal of poker in modern cinema. Cult classic Rounders actually ranked 7th overall as fans claimed that it was too cliché and sexist.
The Cincinnati Kid ranked second with many fans agreeing that they sympathized with “The Kid” after the seemingly miracle loss to “The Man” in the final hand. “Five Card Stud is rigged” claimed the majority of those polled. One person claimed, “I’ve played on PokerStars for ten years and I have not experienced as many bad beats as I did in one game of live Five Card Stud.”
Writers Note: Can someone wake me up when the “opposite sketches are over?”