The Deadpool movie finally hits theaters this month. Fans around the world love the quintessential anti-hero and are looking forward to see whether this theatrical incarnation will allow us to forget the version portrayed in X-Men Origins: Wolverine.
Why are we talking about Deadpool? Frankly, he begged us to and we don’t like seeing people beg. Do we know whether he can play poker? We’re not exactly sure. When we asked if he played poker, he told us that he didn’t know her.
Regardless of whether he can really play, he has the name recognition that online poker sites love so today we present you five reasons that Deadpool should be signed to an online poker sponsorship.
He Could Represent Several Markets Effectively
Unless you’re a hardcore fan, you probably don’t know that Deadpool is multilingual. He speaks English, Spanish, German and Japanese. Deadpool is also proficient in American Sign Language, and we don’t mean flipping the bird either. (Although technically he’s is proficient in that area.)
Deadpool wouldn’t need a translator and could effectively communicate his company’s message to players in various international markets. That’s assuming that he sticks to the script and doesn’t tell players in those markets to go screw themselves because he’s convinced he is the best player in the world.
Who are we kidding? That’s exactly what he will do. That’s why you hire a professional spin artist that tells fans that it is all part of the show.
Deadpool Could End Online Poker Collusion and Bot Usage
Want to end online poker collusion and bot usage? Hire Deadpool – The Merc with the Mouth. Whichever site ultimately decided to sign Deadpool could use him to track down and eliminate those that collude online or that use bots to play online poker.
By eliminate, we really mean eliminate. He goes to your house, chops off your head and posts a selfie on Twitter. Planning on using a bot to win your next online poker title? It better not be on Deadpool’s site.
Deadpool on Twitch
You think that Jason Somerville is entertaining to watch on Twitch, just imagine what it would be like to watch Deadpool on Twitch. Anyone that read the comics knows that Deadpool is hilariously funny, cracking jokes while cracking skulls. Just imagine how much fun he will have bashing opponents, fans and his employers on Twitch.
Will you learn anything about playing poker? Hell no. The first time that Deadpool suffers a bad beat he will shoot the monitor and then proceed to explain to you why Jimmy cracked corn and why we should care. What does that have to do with the price of tea in China? Marbles – because they are squishy in milk.
Celebrity Poker Showdown – Marvel Edition
You know that as soon as you sign Deadpool up for an online poker sponsorship, the heroes will come out in force to play him. Ok, so maybe Deadpool told them that there would be free booze and pizza. A little white lie never hurt anyone…except for when they bash his face for lying about the free booze.
Yes, this would probably be a live poker event streamed online and not an online event. Regardless, imagine a poker table complete with Wolverine, The Thing, Cable, Spider-Man, Hulk, Thor and other Marvel Universe characters. Over / Under on how long it takes Hulk to start smashing Deadpool anyone?
Deadpool is the Ultimate Needler
Deadpool loves to push buttons and if there’s any chink in your armor, he will find it. Imagine a heads-up match against Daniel Negreanu where he is constantly mooing or maybe he’s sitting and eating a nice juicy hamburger (while also mooing). Maybe a battle against Antonio Esfandiari, or the “Whiz Kid” as Deadpool would refer to him.
He will sit there and constantly push the buttons of his opponents until they either break or bust Deadpool. Again, we don’t really expect him to WIN at online poker, but the stream would he hilarious to watch.