Christmas is the season of giving. In that spirit, we look at what type of presents we would give certain poker pros. What do you get a poker pro? Since pros tend to buy themselves all the toys they could ever want, it’s probably better to stick with practical gifts. That way they have socks, underwear or things they can return for cash when they blow their bankroll on DFS on Christmas Day.
Jean-Robert Bellande – A Win
Jean-Robert Bellande is long overdue for a serious win at the poker tables. The last time Bellande won five figures or more in an event was 2005. “Broke Living” has had several near misses in the years since, but has not been able to get the monkey off his back. Yes, Hendon Mob lists him as having won a tournament back in August but we hardly consider that massive $506 score a legitimate win.
Maybe a charitable fan will buy Jean-Robert a subscription to Ivey League. Phil Hellmuth is available for poker coaching. He’d be happy to give himself a reference. Chad Holloway may be willing to provide a few tips. After all, he does have more bracelets than Jean-Robert does.
Joe McKeehen – Tax Session With CPA
The new World Champion of Poker has $7.6 million reason to seek the advice of a professional for the upcoming tax season. The best gift for Mr. McKeehen this holiday season would be a session with a CPA well versed in self-employment and gambling taxes.
We already know that McKeehen is going to give up nearly half of his money to Uncle Sam in April, but a CPA can make sure that he doesn’t pay more than necessary. He can then help McKeehen devise a strategy on how to properly invest the rest. A strategy that will be completely ignored as McKeehen takes his bankroll and heads to the Caribbean for the PCA.
Daniel Negreanu – Flamestrike Card (Hearthstone)
By now, most of you have heard that Daniel Negreanu is obsessed with Hearthstone. What better gift for a Hearthstone fan than a Flamestrike card. For just 7 mana, you can inflict four damage to all minions.
Sure, there are cards that can do more damage to an individual minion, but this can help you inflict some solid damage to all of them. Combine them with more powerful cards, such as Malygos, and kick some serious ass.
Sorel Mizzi and Brian Rast – Boxing Lessons
Sorel Mizzi and Brian Rast have agreed to fight a four-round boxing match for REG charity on December 30. These guys are good friends, so one has to wonder just how entertaining a fight this could be.
That’s why we recommend getting both “fighters” some boxing lessons leading up to the fight. Give both some basic skills so that they can go out there and put on a reasonable show for those willing to plop down $20. We know it is supposed to be for charity, but we want to see someone get punched in the face.
The ironic part about this match? REG is supposed to support the use of science and rational thinking to reduce suffering in the world.
Phil Ivey – $12.4 Million
Phil Ivey recently received approval to appeal last year’s ruling that allowed Crockford’s Casino in London to keep $12.4 million won by Ivey playing Punto Banco. Ivey was to appear in court on December 10 to plead his case, but the appeal has now been postponed until April 2016.
My Christmas gift to Ivey would be a successful appeal of the case, which would award him the $12.4 million from Crockfords. It could also result in his winning a similar case in Atlantic City where he could be forced to repay $8 million to the Borgata for using edge sorting to win at Baccarat.
If all of his edges are sorted out, Ivey could have 20 million reasons to have a Merry Christmas.