As most of you know, the first trailer for 2016’s Deadpool movie has been released. That got us to thinking about which Marvel Universe characters would make great poker players.
Below we put together seven comic book characters who would be great to have around the poker table. We banned heroes with the ability to read or manipulate minds. The Hulk was also excluded because he eats too many snacks and we aren’t insured for “enraged Hulk damages.”
If you took Mike Matusow and gave him an accelerated healing factor, you’d have Deadpool. The nonstop-talking, unpredictable, lovable lunatic would make a fantastic poker player for the fact you would never be able to figure him out.
Once you think you have his strategy figured out, he’d start playing Texas Hold’em as if it is 2-7 lowball, which would be sort of funny considering he’d be the only player at the table with five hole cards.
Also, Deadpool would be the only person in the history of poker that would have Daniel Negreanu requesting a “no talking” rule be enacted.
Wolverine is the poster child for the rugged, cigar smoking, whiskey drinking poker player. Often a member of The Thing’s home games, Logan uses his instincts over math to play the game.
Of course, in the case of Wolverine, his instincts are heightened by his mutant senses. He can smell when you’re sweating over a big decision and can hear your heart racing when you’re bluffing.
The Thing, AKA Ben Grimm, is an “old school” poker player who plays all poker games well. He’s held many home games at the Baxter Building and the list of heroes he’s “clobbered” at the poker table has been epic.
The Thing tends to be a loose-aggressive player that likes to have fun at the tables. And it is hard to bluff him. Money means little to him and nobody short of the Hulk is going to take him down in a fight. This allows him to play poker with zero fear.
Iron Man, AKA Tony Stark, would make an excellent poker player thanks to his analytical mind. His genius level IQ would make him a master at the math of poker and he already has the money needed to play the highest stakes in the world. His cocky personality would certainly put players on tilt, giving him that needed psychological advantage.
We did have to setup special jamming technology so J.A.R.V.I.S. wouldn’t be able to assist Tony at the tables.
The Invisible Woman, AKA Sue Storm, knows a thing or two about putting up with male ego. As the only woman on the Fantastic Four, she puts up with three of the largest egos in the Marvel Universe. This alone gives her the mental toughness needed to play the game of poker.
The other obvious reason that she would make a great poker player is that you cannot see her. She can make herself invisible during a hand, making it nearly impossible to pick up any non-verbal tells.
We’d be remiss if we didn’t invite Gambit to our little home game. The X-Men’s card carrying, or rather card throwing member is an experienced poker player who has zero fear at the table. His background gives him a “devil may care” attitude handy when playing poker.
Yes, we are aware that Gambit can change his cards with his mutant powers. The same sensors we’re using to block J.A.R.V.I.S. also tells us if he’s cheating.
The other female in our poker game is the Sensational She-Hulk. Unlike her earth-smashing cousin, She-Hulk has brains, brawn and good looks. Her outgoing personality will help disarm her opponents at the table but her opponents shouldn’t take her lightly.
She-Hulk is a skilled lawyer and her background gives her superior reading ability, allowing her to categorize players faster than a Deadpool comeback. Basically, if you took Vanessa Selbst and exposed her to Gamma radiation, you have She-Hulk.